Wednesday, February 3, 2010



My Dad was born in the 30's. Almost by definition that made him a fan of old western movies. John Wayne, Gary Cooper, Gene Autry, Clint Eastwood. And later TV shows like Gunsmoke and Bonanza.

These are the kind of men he identified with, the tough, brave, emotionally distant "heroes" that pulled no punches and took no bullshit. My Dad was like that too. Never one to overstate his feelings, he tended to show his affections in little ways and fewer words, but people always knew where he stood. He would defend his family (and sometimes the neighbors) with a fierceness that rivaled those guys on the big screen. People would call him for help. And I never remember anyone crossing him.

When I was younger, I couldn't always understand or agree with his viewpoints. I often thought him narrow-minded, and he thought I was still "wet behind the ears". As I grew into adulthood, though, I came to realize that he was both a product of his up-bringing and a result of his life experiences: he grew up during the depression, lived through some pretty tough times, socially, and worked hard all his life. I came to believe that I knew my Dad pretty well.

But somehow, by watching some of the old films that he used to love, I've come to appreciate a part of him I never recognized when he was still with us. His definition of what it meant to be a man really was influenced by the movie and TV role models he grew up with. And considering the "specialness" of entertainment back then, it only makes sense that those big screen men left a deep and lasting impression on him.

Tonight I watched High Noon, starring Gary Cooper, Grace Kelly, and Lloyd Bridges. And I think I'll consider it a bit of a tribute to my Dad. I'll never know if this was one of his favorites or not, (it was five years ago on Saturday that he passed away) but as I watched it, I felt like I was remembering him in a way that I never knew to begin with.

I miss you Dad.

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